I was watching a question and answer session on Scotland Tonight a couple of days ago, based around maintaining good mental health at this time and I can’t tell you how validating I found it when one of the experts reminded us that those struggling are divided into two main groups – those who are finding it hard to adjust to lockdown due to lack of normal routine, not being able to see loved ones and general ‘cabin fever’ and those in the minority, with pre-existing mental health diagnoses. A few people have said to me recently that I should feel relieved that I’m suddenly in the same boat as everyone else. Comments like these are probably very well intended, but they’re also damaging.
The things that bother me most about lockdown life are not the isolation, the inability to see loved ones, the social distancing…it’s the uncertainty and lack of (or less accessible) support from mental health services, on whom I and my family have had to rely heavily in the last few months. In the wake of COVID-19 and the ensuing withdrawal of face-to-face help, I experienced a sense of abandonment so intense that I can’t even begin to describe it. I was deeply depressed, utterly lost at sea (in my own boat, not sharing one with everyone else) and could see no way of carrying on. How could I even begin to cope without the encouragement of professional people paid to remind me that I had to get up, washed and dressed every morning? You can think what you like about that last (rhetorical) question, but it’s honestly where I’ve been for a number of months.
However, following a phone call with a good friend last weekend, I was inadvertently made to realise that my, albeit rather shaky, future doesn’t have to depend on constant support and advice from mental health services…I can use them, but I don’t have to rely on them. Rather, my future is a bit like play-dough, my own to shape and if I’m strong, determined and resourceful enough, I can survive using my own methods and tools.
And so it was on Wednesday afternoon that I found myself joining an online art session (what did we ever do without Zoom, by the way?), hosted by a mental health cafe (an actual brick building, based in London) who are currently obviously closed but still supporting people virtually…but you don’t live in London, I hear you cry?! You see, the current global situation is awful, but its also brought out the absolute best in people. The aforementioned friend put me in touch with them and I was welcomed with open arms, accepted and treated like one of their own…and I actually really enjoyed it. I’ve even spent the last few days finishing the drawing I started:It’s no masterpiece and it can be whatever you want it to be, if the message doesn’t immediately jump out at you, but it kept me busy for a few hours!
Not only have I been drawing, but I’ve been planning my days a bit, trying to build in some routine and so I’ve been studying as well. Nothing heavy, and nowhere near the level I was at, but it’s keeping my brain ticking over until I feel ready to pick up where I left off a few months ago.
So what point(s) am I making?
Don’t assume you know how people feel or that we’re all suddenly feeling the same way.
Reach out and talk to the right people (those who do understand).
Draw inspiration from the strength of others.
There’s humanity everywhere. Don’t underestimate the kindness of strangers but, equally, don’t forget to give back – pay it forward.
Similarly, the likelihood is that friends who truly understand have their own problems or concerns, so don’t bleed them dry without replenishing some of what you’ve taken.
Dig deep, be resourceful and come up with your own tools for managing things. These are different for everyone so don’t be afraid to branch out and be an individual – I’m solving chemistry problems for fun lol.
Plan your days but don’t overdo it, especially if, like me, you’re in the very early stages of recovery (or indeed aren’t convinced you’ve even got a full recovery in you). Following on from this, listen to your body and sleep as much as you need to.
Lastly (and this is cheesy), LAUGH!! Even for a minute. I normally detest this sort of advice but, as I said to a (different) friend last night, it really does help lift your spirits, however fleetingly.