Mirror, Mirror

This post was inspired by a creative writing prompt:

Mirror, Mirror: What do you see when you look in the mirror?

I hardly ever make eye contact with the person reflected back by the mirror.  There are too many flaws.  Too many things I can’t bear to look at.

I’m frightened at what may have changed since the last time I looked.  Will I have gained weight?  Will my face be fatter?  Will my clothes look too tight?  Will there be more blemishes and spots on my skin?

Do other people see the same?  I don’t take much care over my appearance.  Is my hair a riot?  Do people think I look scruffy?  Do they think I look dirty, despite showering daily?  Will Nurses and Doctors squirm at the thought of having to touch me?  Do my hundreds of scars repulse the people who have cause to see them?

So I avoid looking too closely.  Enough to tie my hair back each morning; that’s the extent of my relationship with the mirror.  Perhaps this is part of the reason I’m struggling so much with Compassion Focussed Therapy.

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