A Mum’s Perspective

**TW: mild references to ED behaviours.**

I was idly scrolling through my Twitter feed last night when I came upon this article by the inspiring Dr Pooky Nightsmith.  It talks about loved ones (or even mere acquaintances) of ED sufferers, and how they can be of optimum help.  All too often, people inadvertently feed the ED when they think they’re helping.  Based on my previous post, Creative Writing Prompt 5: Food, I decided to email a link to the article to my Mum.  I let her know I wasn’t patronising her, but trying to help her understand.  I didn’t really expect her to react in any special way but this morning, when I checked my inbox, I found this:

Hey:

Thank you for information.  I did read some of it last night, but felt I needed time to reply (and night is not my best time as you know).  

I am struggling with the fact that we are now going back to the dark days of your ED.  I imagined (wrongly as it happens) that you had conquered that demon and that it would never rear its ugly head again.  I do find it really difficult when you are sitting at the table and obviously struggling to eat and I do try really hard not to nag.  You have to also understand that from a parent’s point of view it is one of the most difficult things to watch your daughter struggling to eat every mouthful.  I say this only because I care for you and it hurts me to see you hurting.

On a more positive note, I take on board the fact that you are doing really well from the SH point of view and also your Diazepam reduction, and I apologise for putting pressure on you from the eating point of view!  I will try to be more understanding and patient in future.  I wonder what you think of perhaps looking out [Dietician] eating plan (I am sure I kept it) and giving it a go again, or do you think that is too structured for you at the moment?

Once again I don’t nag you for the sake of it, but through love for you.  We, as a family, have to learn to live with this as well. You, [Sister] and [Brother] are the most precious things in my world.  I love you all unconditionally and when one of you hurts, I hurt as well.  I feel much better putting my thoughts into words.  I find it hard to say what I want to say face to face (coward).  

I will read through the rest of the information you sent me and take note !!

Love you loads as well.

MUM XX😊

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