Rediscovery

When I woke this morning, I checked my Twitter feed (as I always do), and found a post from Aimee at Borderline Functional, which I’ve pasted below:

It caught my eye immediately, because I used to love My Chemical Romance (MCR).  Admittedly, I was going through a shit time.  I was struggling to hold on to a job I hated, study part-time and, due to my mood swinging like a pendulum from one day to the next, I was finding it difficult to maintain relationships at home.  But the emotional intensity of bands like MCR, Fall Out Boy, Muse…they helped me through.  I would shut myself in my room, put my headphones on and turn my music up as loud as it would go.  I felt every word in my bones, it was sometimes all that kept me going, my constant, my medicine.

Since becoming ill, I’ve continued to use music as therapy but not in the same way.  If I leave the house alone, I will ALWAYS have earphones in, I listen to music as I draw and write, I like the radio on in the car…but I listen to a lot of mainstream stuff.  Don’t get me wrong, I have huge respect for people like Ed Sheeran, James Bay, George Ezra, Hozier (to name a few) and I enjoy their music immensely.  But, other than a few isolated incidents, I couldn’t tell you the last time I actually ‘felt’ the music I was listening to.

So today I opened the cupboard that holds my vast CD collection (remember CDs?) and hauled out The Black Parade by MCR, which is what I listen to as I type.  Previously, music was an enormous part of my life.  I used to be so clued up.  Anything from Sam Cooke, to The Beatles, to The Who, to Simon and Garfunkel, to Kings Of Leon, to Cold war Kids.

REM were a huge favourite.  Some of their songs have the most awesome lyrics.  I remember when they released the album Up, my Higher English teacher made us sit and dissect the lyrics to Hope:

And then there is the epic E-Bow The Letter from New Adventures in Hi-Fi:

with it’s complex words and style and, further, rumoured connection to the late actor River Phoenix (think Stand By Me), who was a friend of Michael Stipe and died before he could read the ‘letter’ referred to in the song.

I think my days of attending live music events are well and truly over, but I guess there’s nothing stopping me from rekindling an old passion, all I have to do is reinvent the way I can enjoy it…

…thank you, Aimee xx

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4 thoughts on “Rediscovery

  1. Another thing we have in comment. I’m the same in that I used to be known for my knowledge of music at my eclectic taste which is now dwindling and just yesterday I was like maybe that’s something I should aim to do- go to a festival/gig live? Do I enjoy that? So strange to see you post that same thing xx

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    1. How funny!

      I don’t see me ever being able to go to another live music event, due to crowds and noise, but I can still enjoy the same kinds of music…maybe that’s my middle ground.

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  2. Way to go! Music is a HUGE part of my life and I wouldn’t survive without it. How you’ve managed listening to mainstream I have no idea! I have very specific tastes in music and it’s something I get very passionate about, it reminds me there is still fight in me and my family use playing mainstream around me as a way to break me out of a funk sometimes because they know I can’t bear it! The one thing I have been able to keep up but on a much more low key level is going to gigs, despite my immense anxiety there is something about heavy metal gigs and the fact everyone is so friendly and welcoming that calms me. Granted I used to go to 2-3 a week and now it’s that per year but at least I make it.

    I was never a fan of MCR, but I’m really glad you pulled out some of the music today to listen to and reignite your passion.

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  3. Thank you! Lol, I think I’d need a paper bag with me were I to attend a heavy metal gig but good on you for managing to keep it up. It doesn’t matter how frequently you go, but the fact that you go at all. Incidentally, I just heard Placebo playing on the radio in my Brother’s room – they were another favourite.

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