A Bug On It’s Back

TW: References to self-harm.  Please proceed only if you are comfortable with the subject matter.

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been told I won’t stop SHing overnight, that there will be slips along the way.  And that’s OK, so long as the slips are small, and I can catch my balance before I land on my face.  But they never are; each relapse is an effort to outdo the last, the wounds are more serious and difficult for me to cope with.  What can possibly be wrong with me, that I inflict so much pain on myself that I’m screaming in agony…?  That my Dad and I have to spend a Tuesday evening in A&E…?  That I need to see a Nurse daily, to have wounds dressed and cleaned…?

I lost my grip on the rope last night, and now I’m lying back at the bottom of the hole, thrashing around, like a bug on it’s back.

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6 thoughts on “A Bug On It’s Back

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